Five star - Latest 1 Star Film Reviews from the Guardian

Here review – cursed Forrest Gump reunion is a total horror show
The director reunites with Tom Hanks and Robin Wright for an ugly de-aged nightmare that boringly follows the same house throughout time - Benjamin Lee
Dark Feathers review – erotic hitwoman thriller approaches The Room levels of kitsch disaster
Star and co-director Crystal J Huang plays a ballroom-dancing geisha assassin in this preposterous LA melodrama - Phil Hoad
Inherit the Witch review – like an am-dram theatre group doing a murder mystery party in an Airbnb
Pseudo-schlock such as Sharknado is trying to be so bad it’s good – this is just bad - Catherine Bray
Killer Heat review – overcooked Jo Nesbø adaptation is deathly dull
Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Shailene Woodley star in a very boring murder mystery streaming on Amazon - Benjamin Lee
The Mouse Trap review – parasitic IP horror gives birth to slasher Mickey Mouse
As Disney’s rodent enters the public domain, director Jamie Bailey strikes first – but with a disappointingly meek and convoluted horror - Phil Hoad
200% Wolf review – moon spirit baby turns kiddie werewolf sequel into frenetic howler
Where 100% Wolf was giddy fun, the chaos of its sequel is in a rush to get to nowhere very interesting or charming - Cath Clarke
Uglies review – Netflix’s drab and dated YA dystopian mess is not pretty
An empty and exasperating teen book adaptation, set in a future where beautiful people rule the world, is one of the year’s most pointless films - Adrian Horton
Saturday Night review – tedious SNL origins tale is an unfunny misfire
Toronto film festival: Jason Reitman’s 70s-set comedy detailing the first-ever episode of Saturday Night Live is a dull and self-indulgent mess - Benjamin Lee in Toronto
The Last Showgirl review – Pamela Anderson’s big comeback is a big disappointment
An empty-headed attempt to give the star her version of The Wrestler is a regrettable misfire - Benjamin Lee in Toronto
Harvest review – folk non-horror an exasperating experience
Dastardly deeds are afoot in an imagined medieval village with unscrupulous landowners in this directionless study of inauthenticity - Peter Bradshaw
The Crow review – unfathomably awful goth remake
Rupert Sanders’ attempt to resurrect the 1994 cult revenge thriller has become one of 2024’s most atrocious films - Benjamin Lee
Borderlands review – Cate Blanchett stalks her way through woeful video game adaptation
The Australian star heads a big-name cast who can do nothing to save Eli Roth’s incoherent sci-fi action comedy - Wendy Ide
Gracie and Pedro review – star names can’t make up for charmless cat and dog odd couple
By-the-numbers animation does nothing to lift cliched tale that squanders the talents of A-list actors including Bill Nighy and Susan Sarandon - Catherine Bray
Harold and the Purple Crayon review – garish and charmless kids fantasy dud
Zachary Levi makes for a miscast lead in a poorly thought- out adaptation of Crockett Johnson’s classic picture book - Jesse Hassenger
Divorce in the Black review – Tyler Perry’s dull drama is his worst to date
A couple edge toward a split in the writer-director’s shoddy Amazon Prime offering, carelessly made and dull to watch - Andrew Lawrence
Space Cadet review – Emma Roberts joins Nasa in lazy streaming slop
There are shades of Legally Blonde and Private Benjamin in Amazon’s lesser, low-rent comedy about a Florida bartender with dreams of being an astronaut - Benjamin Lee
Poolman review – Chris Pine makes splash of totally wrong kind in shambolic stoner comedy
Pine writes, directs and stars – alongside Danny DeVito and Annette Bening – in this rambling comedy mystery about a shaggy, quirky pool attendant - Steve Rose
Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey 2 review – mutant-bear slasher is back in the woods
This tiresomely meta sequel is as bad as the original, and there are better examples of this kind of nasty ‘humour’ on YouTube - Leslie Felperin
Little Monsters review – infuriatingly awful family film is worse than AI
Ribs remain untickled in this annoying kids’ movie, which is heavy on snarky dialogue but low on charm - Catherine Bray
The Garfield Movie review – foul feline origin tale is littered with product placement
A baffling misunderstanding of the charm and appeal of the grouchy cartoon cat is one of many reasons to hate this atrocious new take, along with the many, many ads - Charles Bramesco
Two Tickets to Greece review – insufferable women-on-holiday comedy is no Shirley Valentine
Even Kristin Scott Thomas can’t save this painful French comedy about two older women heading for the Greek islands for wacky fun - Peter Bradshaw
Strictly Confidential review – Elizabeth Hurley’s softcore sex drama directed by … her son
Awful secrets and gorgeous swimwear are present in equal measure in this bizarre drama featuring a lightly-clad Hurley on top telenovela form - Peter Bradshaw
Prom Dates review – grating high school comedy is a low-rent disaster
Junky romp from producer Kevin Hart sees two teens desperately search for prom dates with unfunny results - Adrian Horton
Bleeding Love review – Ewan McGregor and daughter Clara are toe-curlingly terrible in rehab flick
A landscape gardener and his estranged daughter go on a therapeutic road trip to battle substance abuse in this unbearably cute nepo vanity project - Peter Bradshaw
How to Date Billy Walsh review – another offensively boring streaming-service mess
Even with floor-level expectations, this romcom is incoherent and grating, mistaking teen camp for charm - Adrian Horton
Little Eggs: A Frozen Rescue review – baby polar bear cartoon is charmless debacle
Wisecracking penguins, helpful chickens, a frozen landscape – the latest instalment of the terrible Eggs series, which is just as bad as previous ones - Catherine Bray
Irish Wish review – no cliche is left unturned in lamentable Lindsay Lohan romcom
The American star plays a bridesmaid disrupting her best friend’s nuptials somewhere in Ireland. Only the leprechauns are missing - Wendy Ide
Irish Wish review – Lindsay Lohan’s luck runs out in charmless romcom
The star’s creep back to mainstream movies needs expediting with another junky Netflix offering that feels beneath her talent - Benjamin Lee
Imaginary review – a shoddy and unimaginative creepshow
Blumhouse has churned out some critical and commercial hits, yet continues on a losing streak with a sloppily put together horror about an imaginary friend - Benjamin Lee
Madame Web review – Marvel’s junky spin-off is a tangled mess
Dakota Johnson lazily leads an incompetent attempt to set up a new character, made almost incoherent by last-minute changes - Benjamin Lee
Argylle review – unbearably self-satisfied smirk of a spy caper from Matthew Vaughn
What could have been a fun movie is instead self-admiring with a dull meta-narrative, phoned-in cameos and an awful lead performance - Peter Bradshaw
Jackdaw review – northeast crime thriller turns into anti-Get Carter of dullness
Jamie Child’s directing debut follows a former motocross champ through tedious scrapes and strident geezer movie cliches - Peter Bradshaw
War Blade review – RAF flyboys take on the Nazis in pointless autopilot action
The plucky chaps of dear old Blighty on a mission to infiltrate a bunker come up against a barrage of obstacles – not least the question of how this got made - Phil Hoad
Freaks vs the Reich review – atrocious mash-up of circus fable and the Holocaust
Franz Rogowski plays a Nazi ringmaster in a deluded blend of magical realism, gratuitous violence and sentimentality - Leslie Felperin
Cats in the Museum review – Russian animation worthy of the litter tray
This badly dubbed and randomly plotted tale of feline heroes protecting artworks in the Hermitage is a proper dog’s dinner - Wendy Ide
Freelance review – John Cena and Alison Brie battle stereotypes in crude action-comedy
Cena and Brie display zero chemistry a dumb adventure yarn set in a fictional South American state. It feels like it should be a satire of the genre, but isn’t - Cath Clarke
Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom review – terrible Jason Momoa sequel pollutes the DC ocean
Tired tropes, a forgettable plot and a cast going through the motions – if this is the last movie in the DC Extended Universe it should sink to the bottom, never to be seen again - Peter Bradshaw
What Happens Later review – Meg Ryan and David Duchovny aren’t the only ones trapped in purgatorial romcom
Stranded in an airport, two ex-lovers exchange banalities through the night in Ryan’s hellish second stab at directing - Wendy Ide
Rebel Moon – Part One: A Child of Fire review – Zack Snyder’s Netflix disaster
The director’s attempt to replicate Star Wars for smartphones is an ugly, unforgivably dull and self-serious mess - Charles Bramesco
Animal review – Ranbir Kapoor plays one of the vilest protagonists in cinema history
Kapoor plays the scion of a wealthy family whose violence is the result of a craving for love and validation, in a regressive Bollywood blockbuster - Phuong Le
Genie review – seasonal Richard Curtis comedy can’t save Christmas for anyone
This bafflingly bland offering wastes the talents of Melissa McCarthy and Paapa Essiedu – it’s as if they removed the laughs in case they offend - Peter Bradshaw
Dashing Through the Snow review – a Disney Christmas turkey
Chris ‘Ludacris’ Bridges and LIl Rel Howery try, and fail, to bring life to a shoddily assembled family movie incapable of delivering baseline cheer - Charles Bramesco
Please Don’t Destroy: The Treasure of Foggy Mountain review – please don’t watch
The Saturday Night Live trio’s first feature comedy is a mediocre, misfiring sketch that’s 90 minutes too long - Adrian Horton
Best. Christmas. Ever! review – Netflix comedy might be worst of the season
Brandy and Heather Graham play old friends reunited in an awful, mercifully short, film that offers zero Christmas cheer - Benjamin Lee
The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes review – back to an empty future
Prequel to the hit teen dystopia recruits Rachel Zegler and Jason Schwartzman to labour over IP that is now starved of inspiration - Peter Bradshaw
Doctor Jekyll review – risible horror leaves Eddie Izzard no place to Hyde
Joe Stephenson’s updating of Robert Louis Stevenson’s novella is a double dose of embarrassment - Wendy Ide
How to Save the Immortal review – spectacularly rubbish eternal-fiend animation
A tiresome film about an immortal villain who kidnaps a maiden, which treats its plucky heroine poorly and the viewer even worse - Cath Clarke
Old Dads review – Bill Burr’s angry, unfunny Netflix comedy
The comedian makes his directorial debut with a bitter misfire about three older fathers railing against political correctness - Charles Bramesco
The Caller review – call-centre horror has no answer to terrifyingly low budget
It’s not just the lack of resources that hobbles this as a story, it’s also short of decent plot and dialogue - Catherine Bray
Sumotherhood review – Adam Deacon’s Anuvahood follow-up misses the mark
Semi-sequel to the spoof gangland tale muddles comic capers with extreme violence and it’s not helped by a cameo from ‘Crack Ed’ Sheeran - Ryan Gilbey
The Exorcist: Believer review – David Gordon Green’s reboot is a total horror show
The veteran Halloween director manages to turn terrifying material into a turgid mess in this fright-free revamp - Wendy Ide
Love is in the Air review – Delta Goodrem’s corny Netflix romcom is a saccharine mess
Goodrem and Joshua Sasse lack chemistry as ‘opposites attract’ lovers jetting around tropical Queensland - Luke Buckmaster
Fear the Night review – Neil LaBute on losing streak with atrocious home invasion thriller
The director of In the Company of Men continues his run of terrible films with this awfully acted, ungripping drama - Peter Bradshaw
Wicked Little Letters review – foul-mouthed farce wastes Olivia Colman and Jessie Buckley
The Lost Daughter co-stars reunite for an embarrassingly unfunny misfire, starring as neighbours at war over obscene letters - Benjamin Lee in Toronto
The Nun II review – second dose of clerical horror is a demonic dead end
This horror about the return of a supernatural nun starring Taissa Farmiga and Storm Reid reveals a franchise impoverished in all but box office gross - Ryan Gilbey
The Palace review – Roman Polanski’s tacky hotel farce is the worst party in town
Set in a hotel on New Year’s eve in 1999, this dismal comedy finds room for John Cleese, Mickey Rourke and Fanny Ardant, but you’ll want to run for the hills - Xan Brooks
Sound of Freedom review – anti-child-trafficking thriller that plays to the QAnon crowd
Jim Caviezel stars as the real-life campaigner Tim Ballard in a dull film that has become a US box office sensation - Peter Bradshaw
Vacation Friends 2 review – painfully unfunny comedy sequel
An unwanted follow-up to 2021’s mediocre caper manages to be even worse, wasting a talented cast and replacing humour with grating chaos - Benjamin Lee
Gran Turismo review – gamer turns racer in super-bland ode to product placement
Rather than embrace the video-game that inspired it, the film is a simulation of cinema featuring a reliably underwhelming cameo from Geri Halliwell Horner - Ryan Gilbey
Children of the Corn review – juice-free remake of Stephen King’s killer kids classic
The film starts with the interesting idea that kids today might want to slit their parents’ throats for leaving the planet in such a mess, but quickly gets unscary - Cath Clarke
Bawaal review – redemption romcom in spectacularly poor taste
While the premise – an awful man learns from his much better wife – is serviceable, the plot, centring on a tour around second world war sites is woefully misjudged - Leaf Arbuthnot
A Kind of Kidnapping review – a crime against comedy
The inept criminal trope is taken to a new low in this dire caper, in which a desperate couple abduct a politician - Wendy Ide
The Out-Laws review – Pierce Brosnan can’t save limp Netflix comedy
The ex-007 star plays a criminal father-in-law in an Adam Sandler-ushered action comedy that misses every time - AA Dowd
Insidious: The Red Door review – shoddy horror sequel
Patrick Wilson makes his directorial debut with a labored legacy sequel that should hopefully close the door on the long-running franchise - Charles Bramesco
Prisoner’s Daughter review – Brian Cox and Kate Beckinsale can’t save hammy ex-con drama
Catherine Hardwicke directs the Succession star and Beckinsale in a family drama that falls flat on its face - Peter Bradshaw
Wonderwell review – Carrie Fisher’s final film is an ill-fitting tribute
The late actor has a small role alongside Rita Ora in a long-delayed fantasy now limping to the screen with deservedly little fanfare - Benjamin Lee
Extraction 2 review – Chris Hemsworth action sequel most interested in extracting cash
Seemingly dead at the end of the previous movie, Hemsworth returns as the tough guy mercenary with a heart of gold on a mission to save someone from something - Peter Bradshaw
Black Lotus review – kickboxer thriller looks like ad for Amsterdam tourist board
Rico Verhoeven’s Dutch-produced acting debut is a slapdash meeting of illogical storylines amid meaningless plot points - Phil Hoad
Transformers: Rise of the Beasts review – limp, lifeless robot sequel
An attempt to revive the Hasbro franchise is a careless fumble put together without a hint of effort or interest - Charles Bramesco
Hitmen review – nihilistic mess of a gratuitously violent revenge tale
Couple who kill a man for harassing them in the pub are pursued by an army of his father’s goons. A few sparky performances can’t redeem this cartoonish thriller - Leslie Felperin
A Brighter Tomorrow review – Nanni Moretti’s new film is bafflingly awful
In competition at Cannes, the Italian director’s comedy-drama about a failing film-maker is full of non-comedy and anti-drama – a complete waste of time - Peter Bradshaw
Book Club: The Next Chapter review – four go mad in Italy in excruciating comedy sequel
Jane Fonda and co go through the emotions as book-loving friends on a jaunt in this cliched travelogue cringefest - Wendy Ide
The Mother review – Jennifer Lopez goes kick-ass in abject kidnap thriller
Lopez plays an ex-special forces parent aiming to rescues her kid from the bad guys in this formulaic and muddled Netflix caper - Peter Bradshaw
The Adventures of Jurassic Pet 2: The Lost Secret review – cut-price dinosaur caper
The acting is awful and the dinos sub-standard in this dull kids’ films about talking dinosaurs returning to Earth - Cath Clarke
Ghosted review – dreadful big star action comedy deserves to be ignored
Chris Evans and Ana de Armas make for a chemistry-free pairing in Apple’s catastrophically misfiring mockbuster - Benjamin Lee
Assassin Club review – idiotic action thriller
Contract killer’s ‘one last job’, with Henry Golding and Sam Neill, is a cliched romp of stake-outs and shootouts - Xan Brooks
The Super Mario Bros Movie review – game over for this lazy animated mess
Familiarity replaces fun for the moustachioed Italian plumber in this joyless adaptation from the Nintendo franchise - Wendy Ide
Little Bear’s Big Trip review – dismal animation only good for punishing kids with
Fantastically boring, poorly written and unfunny, this Russian animation could serve as a cinematic naughty step for any parents needing some Easter holiday discipline - Cath Clarke
Murder Mystery 2 review – Jennifer Aniston and Adam Sandler return in crass comedy caper
Not even a missing cheese knife can sharpen the plot of this sloppy sequel about a husband-and-wife detective duo - Wendy Ide
Mummies review – nonsense kiddie-flick should be avoided like a plague of locusts
Unpleasant to look at, with a chatbot-level script and phoned-in voiceovers, film-makers can’t get away with shovelling out this kind of thing - Leslie Felperin
Little Eggs: An African Rescue review – a head-scrambling animated ordeal
A family of anthropomorphised eggs land themselves in hot water in a dismal film full of garish visuals and unfunny gags - Cath Clarke
A Good Person review – Zach Braff’s tale of self-healing is excruciatingly ersatz
Writer/director Braff takes Florence Pugh’s ‘good person who has done a bad thing’ on an contrived journey towards self-forgiveness - Peter Bradshaw
Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey review – cack-handed out-of-copyright horror
Pooh and Piglet are misogynist killers in this terrible horror version of AA Milne, a terrifying combination of not-scary and not-funny - Peter Bradshaw
The Middle Man review – relentlessly pointless non-comedy hits cul-de-sac of quirk
Bent Hamer’s films are known for their deadpan humour but nothing funny – nor sad, nor plausible – happens in this film about a man whose job is to break the news to those whose relations have been killed - Peter Bradshaw
The Fearway review – Groundhog Day road horror is a real highway to hell
A young couple drive around in circles in the desert while being pursued by a demonic driver in this tedious wannabe shocker - Leslie Felperin
True Spirit review – Netflix’s Jessica Watson biopic is cheesy and mawkish
This film’s daytime-soap vibes render an unquestionably inspiring true story into an experience that feels entirely false - Luke Buckmaster
Gandhi Godse Ek Yudh (War of Ideologies) review – dangerously bland alternate history
In imagining a world where Gandhi and his killer learned to get along, Rajkumar Santoshi simplifies differences that remain perilous for India - Phuong Le
House Party review – comedy remake is not worth the invite
The much-loved 1990 hit gets a flat, unnecessary upgrade with help from LeBron James and a host of other misfiring guests - Andrew Lawrence
The Minute You Wake Up Dead review – shonky mystery lets the cat out of the bag
Noirish tale of small American town, whose upstanding citizens turn out to be homicidal maniacs, features acting as feeble as the plot - Cath Clarke
Exploited review – college slasher is a toxic pile of yuckiness
While there’s something to be said for tilting the hetero norms of the genre, the rest of this low-grade nasty should be swiftly consigned to history - Peter Bradshaw
The Nutcracker and the Magic Flute review – a turkey with all the trimmings
A girl’s toys come to life in this nonsensical animated Christmas mashup of Tchaikovsky and Mozart - Wendy Ide
The Nutcracker and the Magic Flute review – fairytale mashup is a right turkey
Combining elements of the Nutcracker and the Magic Flute into something this bland and forgettable takes some doing, in addition to an inert female lead - Cath Clarke
Nutcracker Massacre review – a slow slay ride to nowhere in yuletide slasher flick
This seasonal slash-fest starring Patrick Bergin is a plodding and unimaginative addition to the anti-Christmas genre - Phil Hoad
Scrooge: A Christmas Carol review – Netflix’s junky musical is a lump of coal
The voices of Olivia Colman, Luke Evans and Jessie Buckley can’t enliven an ugly, joyless retread of the Dickens classic - Lauren Mechling
The People We Hate at the Wedding review – a tepid glass of nuptial chardonnay
This laugh-free US-UK culture-clash movie focuses on preparations for a wedding in London and makes you appreciate the alchemies of Nancy Meyer and Richard Curtis - Peter Bradshaw
LA Seduction review – remake of 60s cult flick dials up the misogyny
The original at least reflected its era but this updated story of a woman targeted for sexual assault by a couple of drifters is a nasty pulpy mess - Cath Clarke
Raymond & Ray review – Ewan McGregor and Ethan Hawke wasted in meagre comedy-drama
The pair play estranged brothers reuniting on a road trip in a sentimental and silly film which wastes everybody’s acting talents - Peter Bradshaw
The School for Good and Evil review – Netflix’s Harry Potter rip-off is a disaster
An adaptation of a YA favourite about two opposing fairytale schools is overlong, bland and utterly devoid of magic - Charles Bramesco
Purple Beatz review – 90s drum’n’bass London gets the Hollyoaks treatment
The ‘z’ in the title was a warning, the script the clincher – this wannabe gritty tale of 90s London is like a CBBC show with swearing - Sammy Gecsoyler
Halloween Ends review – horror franchise finishes not with a bang but a whimper
Jamie Lee Curtis and a handful of other legacy characters are still hanging around Haddonfield in the uninspired 13th and (one hopes) final film in the slasher series - Peter Bradshaw